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femmenstein💀 A Melancholy of Goths (Clove smoke, champaca incense, plum velvet, hairspray)
Preliminary notes: This sounds a bit reminiscent of my beloved In Night When All Colors to Black Are Cast, which is also a BPAL scent. The hairspray note gives me slight pause, but the rest of it sounds absolutely lovely.
In bottle: This is veeery earthy, which I wasn't expecting. It smells like cold dirt, similar to BPAL's Nosferatu sans wine notes. The plum note very slightly reminds me of In Night When All Colors to Black Are Cast, but this scent is definitely different.
On skin: First off, this has quite the throw on it. Wet, I get the clove from afar, but up close, it's all plum and hairspray. The hairspray note reminds me a little bit of a shampoo I used as a kid, but I can't recall the name. There's something very slightly medicinal in here, which could be the clove and hairspray combination. After it's dried for a bit, the medicinal vibe goes away, and the clove, plum, and champaca incense take center stage (which leads me to believe it's something in the hairspray note). The clove note from a distance smells very chewy, and I know I've smelled it in other scents before but I can't remember which. I'd still say this is a cousin scent of In Night When All Colors to Black Are Cast, but it's not as dark and decadent. A Melancholy of Goths is moodier and more atmospheric, I think. Definitely more perfumey as well.
Verdict: 4.25 gaggles of goths out of 5.
📚 Lightning Strikes Literature (A lightning storm stirred with beeswax candle smoke, yellowing notebooks, pools of India ink)
Preliminary notes: Iiit's yet another book scent! Surprise, surprise. I've tried a couple of bookish scents from BPAL before, and I've seldom been disappointed. Quintessence of Dust is one of my favorites, but that one is pretty leather-heavy. Curious to see how they compare.
In bottle: This is almost strictly aquatic in the bottle with a hint of something citrusy and a tiny bit of beeswax. I get no paper or ink.
On skin: The ink and paper do come out a bit more on the skin. This is a very clean, aquatic scent overall though. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, given that I've never tried BPAL's ozone notes, but I quite like it. Lightning Strikes Literature kind of reminds me of Quintessence of Dust a little bit, but if Quintessence of Dust was backed by heavy rain. Despite me being very not into clean scents typically, the ink and paper ground it enough that it doesn't go into dryer sheet or laundry detergent territory.
The beeswax comes out after a few minutes, which is recognizable as the same beeswax from The Lights of Men's Lives. The aquatic overtone starts to take a bit of a backseat, and then it becomes a beeswaxy, readerly dream. I love this. I have tried so many book-centric scents at this point, but the ozonic/aquatic opening makes this one different. It eventually settles into a slightly vanillic beeswax scent with a hint of paper.
Verdict: 5 writers penning stories under candlelight while a storm brews outside out of 5.
🍬 Bonfire Toffee (Treacle toffee soaked in rich, dark bourbon)
Preliminary notes: I am a HUGE sucker for toffee notes, and I also love boozy notes, so this sounds like a no-brainer.
In bottle: Toffee with an almost medicinal, woody background. Makes sense, I suppose.
On skin: This is delicious. It's almost spiced, dark, slightly woody toffee. There's something in here that reminds me of coffee without actually being coffee. The best way I can describe it is the smell of a fresh batch of toffee displayed on a wooden tray with a glass of bourbon nearby. I quite like it, and it's not so sweet that it leans super feminine. It's perfectly unisex.
Verdict: 4 piles of toffee on wooden trays out of 5.
💐 Batty Lace (A leathered up, musky interpretation of BPAL’s Antique Lace: dry flowers, aged linens, and the faint breath of long-faded perfumes with well-worn leather and caramel musk)
Preliminary notes: I haven't tried OG Antique Lace, but I love leather and caramel scents, so I'm excited to try this.
In bottle: The leather is definitely one I've smelled in other BPAL scents, but it's subtle. I also get the caramel musk and an overall perfumey vibe.
On skin: Largely a perfume-y floral with a bit of a clean vibe and a bit of caramel-y musk. I don't get any leather whatsoever. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. It's a really nice scent, but I didn't expect it to be this clean. I do really like the musk though. As it wears, it becomes more vanillic and a bit dusty, but not in a bad way. I definitely like the late drydown better than the wet stage. I think I need to re-test this once it's aged a bit.
Verdict: 3.75 caramel-covered flowers out of 5.
🍵 Tiefling Therapist (White and red sandalwood, champaca attar, frankincense, brimstone)
Preliminary notes: I don't know if I've mentioned this much in previous reviews, but I looove a good champaca note. There's something sexy and mysterious about it. This was a no-brainer for me, since I love incense-y scents, and my current DND character is a sultry tiefling, so.
In bottle: This is, unshockingly, very incense-heavy. The brimstone note kind of smells like charcoal discs. I'm also getting something that smells like neroli, which could maybe be the frankincense, since champaca isn't citrusy.
On skin: BPAL's champaca notes are beautiful, and the one in Tiefling Therapist is no exception. The sandalwood notes meld really well with it, and I don't smell any of the frankincense. The brimstone still smells like a charcoal disc but also smells a bit vegetal. Overall, this smells like really expensive incense, and I'm here for it. There's a very, very slight (almost imperceptible) soapiness to this, which I think is the sandalwood/champaca combo, but it doesn't detract from the scent at all, since it doesn't lend a "THIS IS SOAP" vibe to the scent overall. It's just a tiiiiny, tiny clean edge.
After a few minutes, the slight soapiness disappears as well, and the frankincense makes itself known. This is mostly sandalwood and champaca backed by the Lab's brimstone note, so if you're into any of that, this is for you!
Verdict: 4.5 sticks of very expensive incense out of 5.
🗡️ Rogue (Soft, well-worn black leather, hemp, rosin)
Preliminary notes: I've had this before, and to be honest, I don't remember why I destashed it. I remember really enjoying it, and that it had an odd, almost honey-like sweetness to it.
In bottle: Just as I remember. Sweet, honeyed leather and a bit of hemp. I adore this stuff.
On skin: Very similar to in the bottle. There's a very, very slight herbal edge on the skin, but it's all about the honeyed leather and hemp. It's fairly light as well. Definitely glad to have a bottle of this again.
Verdict: 5 leather-clad rogues dripping in honey out of 5.
🕷️ Drow Yoga Instructor (Wild plum, indigo lavender, a tranquil tendril of sandalwood incense)
Preliminary notes: I don't love lavender, but I've read several reviews that say the plum and incense notes in this are fantastic, sooo here we are.
In bottle: Thankfully, the lavender isn't the herbal, screechy variety. All of the notes are accounted for, and it's a very contemplative, subtle scent.
On skin: This is really pretty. The vegetal note I got from Tiefling Therapist is in here too, so I'm guessing it's the sandalwood. There's something in here that almost registers as a soft spice. The lavender smells very dusky and soft and isn't medicinal at all. The plum is a great grounding note as well. I could absolutely see something like this being used in meditation or yoga.
Verdict: 4 purple-hued clouds of incense out of 5.
🦇 Greater Horseshoe Bat (Rosewood, beeswax, labdanum absolute, blackened tea leaf, dark fuzzy musk)
Preliminary notes: Managed to nab this from the Lab's Etsy storefront. I've never tried any of the bat scents before, and this one happened to have beeswax and tea in it. The rest is history.
In bottle: Largely just rosewood and tea. It smells almost like furniture polish, which isn't a bad thing in my books. Almost anise-y as well.
On skin: The rosewood in this is absolutely stunning. There's a bit of a polished furniture vibe to it, but not in a bad way. The tea leaf and musk are present as well. I don't get the beeswax as an obvious note until late in the drydown, in which it smells like beeswax candles that have just been blown out. This one's a bit of a morpher for sure. It brings to mind imagery of elegant, studious wizards.
Verdict: 4.5 fancy wizards out of 5.
👻 Ghost Milk (Goat’s milk, marshmallow, vanilla cashmere, honey dust, white chocolate)
Preliminary notes: Yet another scent that I destashed a couple of years ago without any real basis (I think I was just overwhelmed by the sheer amount of oils I had at the time and wanted to downsize, so I ended up getting rid of things I liked, too). I didn't have Ghost Milk for very long, but I remember it being a sweet, gauzy, creamy scent. I have "cereal" stuck in my head regarding this scent as well, so maybe it smelled like cereal milk to me? We'll find out.
In bottle: Yup, cereal milk, in the best way possible. There's a very, very slight almost gingerbread-y note in there as well. The goat's milk note has never smelled like actual goat's milk to me. There's nothing animalic about this scent in the slightest.
On skin: On skin, something a bit lemony comes out, and I'm not sure where that's coming from. Maybe the honey dust mixing with the chocolate and goat's milk. The underlying spice is still there as well. Overall, it's very cozy and sweet, but not cloyingly so.
Verdict: 4.5 cozy ghosts out of 5.
💀 Dia de los Muertos (2004) (Dry, crackling leaves, the incense smoke of altars honoring Death and the Dead, funeral bouquets, the candies, chocolates, foods, and tobacco of the ofrenda, amaranth, sweet cactus blossom, desert cereus)
Preliminary notes: I purchased this from the Lab's Etsy. I can't say I've ever bought a 20-year-old perfume oil before, but here we are. The note description sounds delicious, and I had seen multiple reviews citing it as smelling like Dior's Poison, so that was enough for me. I'm a little scared to open it, honestly, but I'm confident in BPAL's use of materials, so I'm sure it's fine.
In bottle: Jasmine. A lot of jasmine.
On skin: Oof.. so this goes incredibly fecal on my skin, which is a very hard pass. No thank you. I had high hopes, but this is absolutely vile on me.
Verdict: 0 stanky jasmines out of 5.
🧛 Vampire Milk (Clove bud and goat's milk)
Preliminary notes: These last two were unplanned purchases, but they'd both been stuck in my head for quite some time, so I wanted to grab them before the Weenies were taken down in May.
I love clove, and several reviews I'd read cited the milk note as being caramel-y, which sounds lovely.
In bottle: Clove and something that smells almost like caramel or sweetened condensed milk. Definitely doesn't smell like traditional goat's milk, but it's delicious.
On skin: This is SO clove-heavy, and I love it. The goat's milk reads more as warmed sweetened condensed milk, and it has an almost holiday vibe to it. I've been on the hunt for a clove perfume that's actually clove-heavy for years, but every single time I find one, the clove is barely there. This, though, is a clove bomb, and I am overjoyed with it. This is a holy grail clove scent for me.
Verdict: 5 creamy clove drinks out of 5.
👻 Vintage Ghost Blow Mold (Milky-white plastic, candy corn, 40 watts of glowing amber)
Preliminary notes: I am a huge sucker for anything vintage-Halloween, and also a sucker for candy corn notes, which I don't think I've experienced in a BPAL scent before.
In bottle: Super promiment candy corn and white amber. It smells very clean. I don't get any sort of plastic note at all.
On skin: Okay, so, the first lesson this scent is telling me is that I need to hunt for BPAL's candy corn note in the future, because it's beautiful. My brain is connecting the "plastic" note to pumpkin pails, but again, it doesn't smell like actual plastic. It's like an artistic rendition of the concept of plastic, if that makes any sense at all. This is such a lovely, sweet scent and definitely evokes imagery of childhood Halloweens. It truly does smell glowy, and it mellows out into a delightful milky, marshmallow-y white amber scent as it wears. This is the candy corn scent I've always wanted, and I'm so glad I picked this up before it was taken down. I love this so, so much.
Verdict: 5 ghosts carrying pumpkin pails full of candy corn out of 5.
Preliminary notes: This sounds a bit reminiscent of my beloved In Night When All Colors to Black Are Cast, which is also a BPAL scent. The hairspray note gives me slight pause, but the rest of it sounds absolutely lovely.
In bottle: This is veeery earthy, which I wasn't expecting. It smells like cold dirt, similar to BPAL's Nosferatu sans wine notes. The plum note very slightly reminds me of In Night When All Colors to Black Are Cast, but this scent is definitely different.
On skin: First off, this has quite the throw on it. Wet, I get the clove from afar, but up close, it's all plum and hairspray. The hairspray note reminds me a little bit of a shampoo I used as a kid, but I can't recall the name. There's something very slightly medicinal in here, which could be the clove and hairspray combination. After it's dried for a bit, the medicinal vibe goes away, and the clove, plum, and champaca incense take center stage (which leads me to believe it's something in the hairspray note). The clove note from a distance smells very chewy, and I know I've smelled it in other scents before but I can't remember which. I'd still say this is a cousin scent of In Night When All Colors to Black Are Cast, but it's not as dark and decadent. A Melancholy of Goths is moodier and more atmospheric, I think. Definitely more perfumey as well.
Verdict: 4.25 gaggles of goths out of 5.
📚 Lightning Strikes Literature (A lightning storm stirred with beeswax candle smoke, yellowing notebooks, pools of India ink)
Preliminary notes: Iiit's yet another book scent! Surprise, surprise. I've tried a couple of bookish scents from BPAL before, and I've seldom been disappointed. Quintessence of Dust is one of my favorites, but that one is pretty leather-heavy. Curious to see how they compare.
In bottle: This is almost strictly aquatic in the bottle with a hint of something citrusy and a tiny bit of beeswax. I get no paper or ink.
On skin: The ink and paper do come out a bit more on the skin. This is a very clean, aquatic scent overall though. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, given that I've never tried BPAL's ozone notes, but I quite like it. Lightning Strikes Literature kind of reminds me of Quintessence of Dust a little bit, but if Quintessence of Dust was backed by heavy rain. Despite me being very not into clean scents typically, the ink and paper ground it enough that it doesn't go into dryer sheet or laundry detergent territory.
The beeswax comes out after a few minutes, which is recognizable as the same beeswax from The Lights of Men's Lives. The aquatic overtone starts to take a bit of a backseat, and then it becomes a beeswaxy, readerly dream. I love this. I have tried so many book-centric scents at this point, but the ozonic/aquatic opening makes this one different. It eventually settles into a slightly vanillic beeswax scent with a hint of paper.
Verdict: 5 writers penning stories under candlelight while a storm brews outside out of 5.
🍬 Bonfire Toffee (Treacle toffee soaked in rich, dark bourbon)
Preliminary notes: I am a HUGE sucker for toffee notes, and I also love boozy notes, so this sounds like a no-brainer.
In bottle: Toffee with an almost medicinal, woody background. Makes sense, I suppose.
On skin: This is delicious. It's almost spiced, dark, slightly woody toffee. There's something in here that reminds me of coffee without actually being coffee. The best way I can describe it is the smell of a fresh batch of toffee displayed on a wooden tray with a glass of bourbon nearby. I quite like it, and it's not so sweet that it leans super feminine. It's perfectly unisex.
Verdict: 4 piles of toffee on wooden trays out of 5.
💐 Batty Lace (A leathered up, musky interpretation of BPAL’s Antique Lace: dry flowers, aged linens, and the faint breath of long-faded perfumes with well-worn leather and caramel musk)
Preliminary notes: I haven't tried OG Antique Lace, but I love leather and caramel scents, so I'm excited to try this.
In bottle: The leather is definitely one I've smelled in other BPAL scents, but it's subtle. I also get the caramel musk and an overall perfumey vibe.
On skin: Largely a perfume-y floral with a bit of a clean vibe and a bit of caramel-y musk. I don't get any leather whatsoever. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this. It's a really nice scent, but I didn't expect it to be this clean. I do really like the musk though. As it wears, it becomes more vanillic and a bit dusty, but not in a bad way. I definitely like the late drydown better than the wet stage. I think I need to re-test this once it's aged a bit.
Verdict: 3.75 caramel-covered flowers out of 5.
🍵 Tiefling Therapist (White and red sandalwood, champaca attar, frankincense, brimstone)
Preliminary notes: I don't know if I've mentioned this much in previous reviews, but I looove a good champaca note. There's something sexy and mysterious about it. This was a no-brainer for me, since I love incense-y scents, and my current DND character is a sultry tiefling, so.
In bottle: This is, unshockingly, very incense-heavy. The brimstone note kind of smells like charcoal discs. I'm also getting something that smells like neroli, which could maybe be the frankincense, since champaca isn't citrusy.
On skin: BPAL's champaca notes are beautiful, and the one in Tiefling Therapist is no exception. The sandalwood notes meld really well with it, and I don't smell any of the frankincense. The brimstone still smells like a charcoal disc but also smells a bit vegetal. Overall, this smells like really expensive incense, and I'm here for it. There's a very, very slight (almost imperceptible) soapiness to this, which I think is the sandalwood/champaca combo, but it doesn't detract from the scent at all, since it doesn't lend a "THIS IS SOAP" vibe to the scent overall. It's just a tiiiiny, tiny clean edge.
After a few minutes, the slight soapiness disappears as well, and the frankincense makes itself known. This is mostly sandalwood and champaca backed by the Lab's brimstone note, so if you're into any of that, this is for you!
Verdict: 4.5 sticks of very expensive incense out of 5.
🗡️ Rogue (Soft, well-worn black leather, hemp, rosin)
Preliminary notes: I've had this before, and to be honest, I don't remember why I destashed it. I remember really enjoying it, and that it had an odd, almost honey-like sweetness to it.
In bottle: Just as I remember. Sweet, honeyed leather and a bit of hemp. I adore this stuff.
On skin: Very similar to in the bottle. There's a very, very slight herbal edge on the skin, but it's all about the honeyed leather and hemp. It's fairly light as well. Definitely glad to have a bottle of this again.
Verdict: 5 leather-clad rogues dripping in honey out of 5.
🕷️ Drow Yoga Instructor (Wild plum, indigo lavender, a tranquil tendril of sandalwood incense)
Preliminary notes: I don't love lavender, but I've read several reviews that say the plum and incense notes in this are fantastic, sooo here we are.
In bottle: Thankfully, the lavender isn't the herbal, screechy variety. All of the notes are accounted for, and it's a very contemplative, subtle scent.
On skin: This is really pretty. The vegetal note I got from Tiefling Therapist is in here too, so I'm guessing it's the sandalwood. There's something in here that almost registers as a soft spice. The lavender smells very dusky and soft and isn't medicinal at all. The plum is a great grounding note as well. I could absolutely see something like this being used in meditation or yoga.
Verdict: 4 purple-hued clouds of incense out of 5.
🦇 Greater Horseshoe Bat (Rosewood, beeswax, labdanum absolute, blackened tea leaf, dark fuzzy musk)
Preliminary notes: Managed to nab this from the Lab's Etsy storefront. I've never tried any of the bat scents before, and this one happened to have beeswax and tea in it. The rest is history.
In bottle: Largely just rosewood and tea. It smells almost like furniture polish, which isn't a bad thing in my books. Almost anise-y as well.
On skin: The rosewood in this is absolutely stunning. There's a bit of a polished furniture vibe to it, but not in a bad way. The tea leaf and musk are present as well. I don't get the beeswax as an obvious note until late in the drydown, in which it smells like beeswax candles that have just been blown out. This one's a bit of a morpher for sure. It brings to mind imagery of elegant, studious wizards.
Verdict: 4.5 fancy wizards out of 5.
👻 Ghost Milk (Goat’s milk, marshmallow, vanilla cashmere, honey dust, white chocolate)
Preliminary notes: Yet another scent that I destashed a couple of years ago without any real basis (I think I was just overwhelmed by the sheer amount of oils I had at the time and wanted to downsize, so I ended up getting rid of things I liked, too). I didn't have Ghost Milk for very long, but I remember it being a sweet, gauzy, creamy scent. I have "cereal" stuck in my head regarding this scent as well, so maybe it smelled like cereal milk to me? We'll find out.
In bottle: Yup, cereal milk, in the best way possible. There's a very, very slight almost gingerbread-y note in there as well. The goat's milk note has never smelled like actual goat's milk to me. There's nothing animalic about this scent in the slightest.
On skin: On skin, something a bit lemony comes out, and I'm not sure where that's coming from. Maybe the honey dust mixing with the chocolate and goat's milk. The underlying spice is still there as well. Overall, it's very cozy and sweet, but not cloyingly so.
Verdict: 4.5 cozy ghosts out of 5.
💀 Dia de los Muertos (2004) (Dry, crackling leaves, the incense smoke of altars honoring Death and the Dead, funeral bouquets, the candies, chocolates, foods, and tobacco of the ofrenda, amaranth, sweet cactus blossom, desert cereus)
Preliminary notes: I purchased this from the Lab's Etsy. I can't say I've ever bought a 20-year-old perfume oil before, but here we are. The note description sounds delicious, and I had seen multiple reviews citing it as smelling like Dior's Poison, so that was enough for me. I'm a little scared to open it, honestly, but I'm confident in BPAL's use of materials, so I'm sure it's fine.
In bottle: Jasmine. A lot of jasmine.
On skin: Oof.. so this goes incredibly fecal on my skin, which is a very hard pass. No thank you. I had high hopes, but this is absolutely vile on me.
Verdict: 0 stanky jasmines out of 5.
🧛 Vampire Milk (Clove bud and goat's milk)
Preliminary notes: These last two were unplanned purchases, but they'd both been stuck in my head for quite some time, so I wanted to grab them before the Weenies were taken down in May.
I love clove, and several reviews I'd read cited the milk note as being caramel-y, which sounds lovely.
In bottle: Clove and something that smells almost like caramel or sweetened condensed milk. Definitely doesn't smell like traditional goat's milk, but it's delicious.
On skin: This is SO clove-heavy, and I love it. The goat's milk reads more as warmed sweetened condensed milk, and it has an almost holiday vibe to it. I've been on the hunt for a clove perfume that's actually clove-heavy for years, but every single time I find one, the clove is barely there. This, though, is a clove bomb, and I am overjoyed with it. This is a holy grail clove scent for me.
Verdict: 5 creamy clove drinks out of 5.
👻 Vintage Ghost Blow Mold (Milky-white plastic, candy corn, 40 watts of glowing amber)
Preliminary notes: I am a huge sucker for anything vintage-Halloween, and also a sucker for candy corn notes, which I don't think I've experienced in a BPAL scent before.
In bottle: Super promiment candy corn and white amber. It smells very clean. I don't get any sort of plastic note at all.
On skin: Okay, so, the first lesson this scent is telling me is that I need to hunt for BPAL's candy corn note in the future, because it's beautiful. My brain is connecting the "plastic" note to pumpkin pails, but again, it doesn't smell like actual plastic. It's like an artistic rendition of the concept of plastic, if that makes any sense at all. This is such a lovely, sweet scent and definitely evokes imagery of childhood Halloweens. It truly does smell glowy, and it mellows out into a delightful milky, marshmallow-y white amber scent as it wears. This is the candy corn scent I've always wanted, and I'm so glad I picked this up before it was taken down. I love this so, so much.
Verdict: 5 ghosts carrying pumpkin pails full of candy corn out of 5.
Tags:
- amaranth,
- amber,
- beeswax,
- bourbon,
- brimstone,
- cactus blossom,
- candle smoke,
- candy,
- candy corn,
- cashmere,
- cereus,
- champaca,
- chocolate,
- clove,
- floral notes,
- frankincense,
- hairspray,
- hemp,
- honey dust,
- house: black phoenix alchemy lab,
- incense,
- ink,
- labdanum,
- lavender,
- leather,
- leaves,
- lightning,
- linen,
- marshmallow,
- milk: goats,
- musk: caramel,
- musk: misc,
- paper,
- perfume notes,
- plum,
- red sandalwood,
- rosewood,
- rosin,
- smoke,
- tea leaf,
- tobacco,
- toffee,
- treacle,
- vanilla,
- velvet,
- white chocolate,
- white sandalwood
