Absurd! 11 Nui Cobalt April Fools' Reviews
May. 2nd, 2022 03:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
femmenstein posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
cathedralofrosesI hadn't originally planned on picking anything up from the April Fools' release, but I am hopeless when it comes to resisting gourmands. Most of these have been on my wishlist for a couple of years. I was shocked; Malarkey was on its own, but the others were in an order together and shipped within 20 minutes of the order being placed. Nui Cobalt's TAT is phenomenal and wrought with sorcery. Speaking of sorcery, let's see what kind of delicious witchery Forest has concocted with these.
As a quick preamble as well, I love the concept behind Nui Cobalt's April Fools' collection in terms of, "April Fools' is a garbage holiday, and I don't like gourmands, so I'm gonna combine the two and make some really awesome perfumes." I think it's a great way to channel something you don't like into something productive, and given my previous experiences with NCD's gourmands, I'm very excited for these. Forest may not like gourmands, but she's very skilled at making them.
🍞Malarkey: Bread and Butter Pudding (Twice-baked slices of soft white bread, salted butter, rich vanilla custard, nutmeg, cinnamon)
Preliminary notes: I'm super excited to try this, finally. It's been the GBBO scent I've eyed the most. I've gotten really into gourmands over the last year and a bit, especially those involving custard.
In bottle: Oh, fuck yeah. Toasty, buttered bread and very rich custard. I love this already and want to eat it. The butter note is very melty and realistic (probably too realistic for some).
On skin: Largely the same as in the bottle. The custard and butter are at the forefront, followed by delicious bread and spices. I think this is one of my favorite GBBO scents.
Verdict: 5 creamy, bready custards out of 5. This is excellent.
🍌Bluffing: Bananas Foster (Perfectly ripe bananas sautéed in molten brown sugar, butter, cinnamon, and Caribbean rum, served over vanilla ice cream)
Preliminary notes: Bananaaa. I love a good banana note, and going off of Ochosi and Bollocks, I know NCD has a great one. I've never had Bananas Foster IRL, but I have sautéed bananas in sugar before, and that shit is delicious.
In bottle: That sautéed banana note is amazing. Much like most (if not all) of the GBBO scents, its incredibly realistic. I don't get any of the rum or ice cream in the bottle, just gooey, fried banana goodness.
On skin: You know what, I thought it was the berry notes in Preposterous! and Horsefeathers that went plasticky, but I think it's the ice cream/whipped cream, because it's happening here too. I get caramelized bananas and rum immediately followed by a ton of plastic. God damnit, skin chemistry.
Verdict: 2.5 Disappointments Foster out of 5. I hate that my skin chemistry ruined this, I really do.
🥥Fibbing: Coconut Cream Pie (Tender coconut baked in rich vanilla custard with a toasted almond crust)
Preliminary notes: I have a kind of complicated relationship with coconut. Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I hate it. I do usually like coconut cream pie though, despite the on-and-off disdain for coconut things.
In bottle: Well, that's surprising. I get zero coconut from this, and not really any custard either. It's all toasted almond crust. Hm.
On skin: Still not getting any coconut from this whatsoever, but the custard comes out a lot more on skin. This ends up smelling like vanilla cream pie instead of coconut cream pie, which I'm not mad about. There's maybe a veeery tiny bit of something similar to coconut husk if I try really hard to sniff it out, but again, it's barely there.
Verdict: 3 pies with a single shred of coconut on top out of 5. This isn't a bad scent, but there is zero coconut present, which is really disappointing.
🍵Hoodwink: Thai Iced Tea (A tall glass of Thai iced tea sweetened with Tupelo honey and swirled with vanilla rice milk)
Preliminary notes: I know what you're thinking. "ANOTHER tea scent, Femmenstein?" Yes. I am very predictable and do not have the willpower to turn down a tea scent. Plus look! There's honey and rice milk! Yum.
In bottle: Oh, this is interesting. It smells somewhere between herbal and woody, almost. I get the honey with that, but not much else.
On skin: Definitely smells like a milky sort of tea with an herbal edge. None of the notes really stick out to me.
Verdict: 3 nondescript drinks out of 5. I go somewhat anosmic to this shortly after I apply it, and to be completely frank, I have more interesting tea scents that I prefer over this.
🍰Preposterous!: Strawberry Shortcake (Sun-ripened strawberries, soft vanilla cake, topped with a scant teaspoon of whipped cream)
Preliminary notes: Okay, this one I remember almost ordering last year. I kind of forgot how much I love strawberry-based cakes until DH and I bought a strawberry cream cake from Walmart a while ago annnd I devoured most of it myself. If Preposterous! smells anything like that, or like the strawberry shortcakes from Safeway (which are amazing for storebought cakes), I'll be happy. (DH said the description sounds exactly like the strawberry cakes we buy, so that was spot on)
In bottle: Yup, that's strawberry shortcake, alright. The strawberries smell more pink than red, if that makes any sense. Slightly syrupy but not artificial (yay). Veeery sugary.
On skin: The strawberry note goes almost citrusy, and the whipped cream goes straight to plastic, so the whole thing ends up smelling like scented dolls from the 80s. Not my thing at all. After about 5-10 minutes, it calms down a bit and the cake note comes out, which is beautiful, but it gets way overshadowed by the plastic and citrus-like berry. It reads as very juvenile to me.
Verdict: 2.5 strawberry cakes out of 5. The cake note itself is one of the best I've smelled, but the plasticky overtone of this is very off-putting. Not for me.
🍍Humbuggery: Pineapple Upside-Down Cake (Caramelized pineapple, coconut cream, toasted hazelnut crust, baked brown sugar)
Preliminary notes: Gimme all the pineapple scents, please. Also, let me just say that I'm so glad this doesn't have a Maraschino cherry note. I kind of hate actual pineapple upside-down cake (canned pineapple is repulsive, and I hate candied cherries), but this.. quite honestly sounds nothing like it. I've never had or seen a pineapple upside-down cake with a crust or involving coconut. I am not complaining though; far from it. Fuck actual pineapple upside-down cakes (I am very passionate about how awful those things are, sorry/not sorry).
In bottle: This wins for one of the most realistic pineapple notes I've come across. It's a bit buried beneath the coconut and hazelnut, but it's there, and it's very juicy. Does not smell anything like actual pineapple upside-down cake, thank god.
On skin: The pineapple disappears, and what's left is a sweet, slightly floral cake. I don't hate it, but I wish the pineapple stayed longer.
Verdict: 3 pineapple-scented cakes out of 5. I was hoping for more pineapple from this, which just didn't happen, unfortunately.
🍮Kazzate: Tiramisu (Golden vanilla ladyfingers infused with espresso and Marsala wine, layered with sweet mascarpone, finished with a fine dusting of cocoa)
Preliminary notes: Ah, yes, cazzate. The Italian word for bullshit and one of the best names for a scent I've come across. "Oh, you smell nice! What is that?" "Bullshit, but make it Italian." My cultural heritage is happy. Tiramisu is DH's favorite dessert, so I had to take this for a spin and see if he likes it. He's a gourmand fiend too.
DH's preliminary notes: I'll say this much about it. This sounds like something my dad would make. Wait a minute. Is this tiramisu? IT IS TIRAMISU. AHHH!
In bottle: Well. I don't know what I was expecting, but this is a very photorealistic tiramisu scent, and it's delicious. All of the notes sing in perfect harmony together, with only the cocoa being slightly more prominent than anything else.
On skin: Much like in the bottle, everything is perfectly balanced and really does smell like tiramisu. I don't hate the cocoa note, which is a damned miracle. I like chocolate IRL but hate chocolate notes in perfumes.
DH's thoughts: Mmm, that's really comforting. Like cozying up around the fire and eating baked goods at Grandma's house.(I suggested that I should slather myself in this before giving him a hug when he has a bad day, and he enthusiastically agreed.)
Verdict: 5 gigantic plates of tiramisu out of 5. DH loves this, I love this, and I'm looking forward to dousing myself in it the next time he has a bad day in attempt to cheer him up.
🔵Hokum: Blueberry Cobbler (Garden-grown blueberries baked under oatmeal cinnamon streusel)
Preliminary notes: After being sorely disappointed by Grey Cat, I wanted to try something else from NCD with a blueberry note but without the lavender. I only have one other blueberry scent (Arcana's Blueberries Crave Home), and wanted to expand my horizons a bit, even though they're both gourmands.
In bottle: Theeere's that beautiful blueberry note. I also get something distinctly vanillic, which might be part of the oatmeal accord, and of course, cinnamon.
On skin: Oh god, this smells like Ye Olde Village Tavern on me for some reason, and my skin chem hated that scent. Way too much cinnamon, veering on dirty stables. Why.
Verdict: 0 sad skin chemistries out of 5. This was entirely disappointing.
❤️Horsefeathers: Raspberry Arctic Roll (2021) (Vanilla bean ice cream wrapped in a blanket of yellow sponge cake and a layer of vibrant red raspberry jam)
Preliminary notes: I'll start off by saying that raspberry is probably my least favorite berry note and least favorite berry in general, excluding raspberry jam. However, I've been pleasantly surprised by the GBBO scents so far, so I wanted to try this at the very least. I do love good ice cream and cake notes.
In bottle: So funnily enough, the raspberry isn't reading as raspberry at all to me. It's mostly the (very realistic) ice cream and yellow cake with a small bit of berry on the end of the sniff.
On skin: H'oookay, I might have misspoke. The second this hit my skin, a huge cloud of raspberry blossomed off of my arm. It's still primarily ice cream and cake, but the raspberry is definitely more pronounced on the skin. It doesn't smell like jam to me though, maybe closer to liqueur. It's fairly artificial-smelling, which makes me a bit sad. I had the same experience with Preposterous! almost down to a T. NCD's berry notes and I are not friends, apparently.
Verdict: 2.5 bowls of raspberry ripple ice cream out of 5. The cake and ice cream notes are good, but I really do not like the raspberry note in this at all. It's artificial and loud.
🌾Wool Over Your Eyes: Rice Pudding (Fluffy jasmine rice, precious saffron, vanilla-infused sugar, almond milk, nutmeg, cardamom, a scant sprinkle of cinnamon)
Preliminary notes: So I've never actually had rice pudding, but I've had a fair amount of scents that feature it as a note. This sounds delectable. I'm also a sucker for alternative lactonic notes, i.e. coconut milk, almond milk, etc.
In bottle: Oh, god yes. The rice note in this is similar to Silver Fox, which is my favorite cozy NCD scent. It's very creamy and warm.
On skin: This is basically the rice milk portion of Silver Fox turned up to a thousand, and I love it. This is so deliciously creamy, and the spices are perfectly balanced.
Verdict: 5 creamy rice dreams out of 5. I adore this so much.
🍋Sophistry: Sparkling Elderflower Lemonade (Chilled sparkling lemonade infused with elderflower blossoms, thinly sliced cucumber, and a pinch of grated ginger root)
Preliminary notes: I am a huge sucker for a good cucumber note, and cucumber lemon water is my go-to beverage during the summer. This sounds lovely and refreshing. I am curious about how the lemonade note is going to work in this, since the pink lemonade note in Flying South was.. bizarre, to say the least.
In bottle: This is a cucumber and ginger bomb, but not remotely in a bad way. The cucumber note smells like an actual cucumber, green skin and all. I don't get any lemon whatsoever in the bottle, but this is a refreshing herbal scent.
On skin: Still really not getting any lemon from this. It's all cucumber and ginger. Oh, wait. Give it about 5-10 minutes, and the lemonade note peeks its head out a tiny bit. Unfortunately, the whole things ends up smelling pretty soapy. Alas, this is not the lemonade scent for me.
Verdict: 3.5 large cucumber wedges in a small glass of lemonade out of 5. If you like cucumber, you'll probably love this. I was hoping for a 50/50 lemonade to cucumber note split, but instead, it's largely cucumber and ginger. I would have liked this a lot more without the ginger note, I think. I'll try aging it for a few months and see how it is by the time summer starts.
As a quick preamble as well, I love the concept behind Nui Cobalt's April Fools' collection in terms of, "April Fools' is a garbage holiday, and I don't like gourmands, so I'm gonna combine the two and make some really awesome perfumes." I think it's a great way to channel something you don't like into something productive, and given my previous experiences with NCD's gourmands, I'm very excited for these. Forest may not like gourmands, but she's very skilled at making them.
🍞Malarkey: Bread and Butter Pudding (Twice-baked slices of soft white bread, salted butter, rich vanilla custard, nutmeg, cinnamon)
Preliminary notes: I'm super excited to try this, finally. It's been the GBBO scent I've eyed the most. I've gotten really into gourmands over the last year and a bit, especially those involving custard.
In bottle: Oh, fuck yeah. Toasty, buttered bread and very rich custard. I love this already and want to eat it. The butter note is very melty and realistic (probably too realistic for some).
On skin: Largely the same as in the bottle. The custard and butter are at the forefront, followed by delicious bread and spices. I think this is one of my favorite GBBO scents.
Verdict: 5 creamy, bready custards out of 5. This is excellent.
🍌Bluffing: Bananas Foster (Perfectly ripe bananas sautéed in molten brown sugar, butter, cinnamon, and Caribbean rum, served over vanilla ice cream)
Preliminary notes: Bananaaa. I love a good banana note, and going off of Ochosi and Bollocks, I know NCD has a great one. I've never had Bananas Foster IRL, but I have sautéed bananas in sugar before, and that shit is delicious.
In bottle: That sautéed banana note is amazing. Much like most (if not all) of the GBBO scents, its incredibly realistic. I don't get any of the rum or ice cream in the bottle, just gooey, fried banana goodness.
On skin: You know what, I thought it was the berry notes in Preposterous! and Horsefeathers that went plasticky, but I think it's the ice cream/whipped cream, because it's happening here too. I get caramelized bananas and rum immediately followed by a ton of plastic. God damnit, skin chemistry.
Verdict: 2.5 Disappointments Foster out of 5. I hate that my skin chemistry ruined this, I really do.
🥥Fibbing: Coconut Cream Pie (Tender coconut baked in rich vanilla custard with a toasted almond crust)
Preliminary notes: I have a kind of complicated relationship with coconut. Sometimes I love it, and sometimes I hate it. I do usually like coconut cream pie though, despite the on-and-off disdain for coconut things.
In bottle: Well, that's surprising. I get zero coconut from this, and not really any custard either. It's all toasted almond crust. Hm.
On skin: Still not getting any coconut from this whatsoever, but the custard comes out a lot more on skin. This ends up smelling like vanilla cream pie instead of coconut cream pie, which I'm not mad about. There's maybe a veeery tiny bit of something similar to coconut husk if I try really hard to sniff it out, but again, it's barely there.
Verdict: 3 pies with a single shred of coconut on top out of 5. This isn't a bad scent, but there is zero coconut present, which is really disappointing.
🍵Hoodwink: Thai Iced Tea (A tall glass of Thai iced tea sweetened with Tupelo honey and swirled with vanilla rice milk)
Preliminary notes: I know what you're thinking. "ANOTHER tea scent, Femmenstein?" Yes. I am very predictable and do not have the willpower to turn down a tea scent. Plus look! There's honey and rice milk! Yum.
In bottle: Oh, this is interesting. It smells somewhere between herbal and woody, almost. I get the honey with that, but not much else.
On skin: Definitely smells like a milky sort of tea with an herbal edge. None of the notes really stick out to me.
Verdict: 3 nondescript drinks out of 5. I go somewhat anosmic to this shortly after I apply it, and to be completely frank, I have more interesting tea scents that I prefer over this.
🍰Preposterous!: Strawberry Shortcake (Sun-ripened strawberries, soft vanilla cake, topped with a scant teaspoon of whipped cream)
Preliminary notes: Okay, this one I remember almost ordering last year. I kind of forgot how much I love strawberry-based cakes until DH and I bought a strawberry cream cake from Walmart a while ago annnd I devoured most of it myself. If Preposterous! smells anything like that, or like the strawberry shortcakes from Safeway (which are amazing for storebought cakes), I'll be happy. (DH said the description sounds exactly like the strawberry cakes we buy, so that was spot on)
In bottle: Yup, that's strawberry shortcake, alright. The strawberries smell more pink than red, if that makes any sense. Slightly syrupy but not artificial (yay). Veeery sugary.
On skin: The strawberry note goes almost citrusy, and the whipped cream goes straight to plastic, so the whole thing ends up smelling like scented dolls from the 80s. Not my thing at all. After about 5-10 minutes, it calms down a bit and the cake note comes out, which is beautiful, but it gets way overshadowed by the plastic and citrus-like berry. It reads as very juvenile to me.
Verdict: 2.5 strawberry cakes out of 5. The cake note itself is one of the best I've smelled, but the plasticky overtone of this is very off-putting. Not for me.
🍍Humbuggery: Pineapple Upside-Down Cake (Caramelized pineapple, coconut cream, toasted hazelnut crust, baked brown sugar)
Preliminary notes: Gimme all the pineapple scents, please. Also, let me just say that I'm so glad this doesn't have a Maraschino cherry note. I kind of hate actual pineapple upside-down cake (canned pineapple is repulsive, and I hate candied cherries), but this.. quite honestly sounds nothing like it. I've never had or seen a pineapple upside-down cake with a crust or involving coconut. I am not complaining though; far from it. Fuck actual pineapple upside-down cakes (I am very passionate about how awful those things are, sorry/not sorry).
In bottle: This wins for one of the most realistic pineapple notes I've come across. It's a bit buried beneath the coconut and hazelnut, but it's there, and it's very juicy. Does not smell anything like actual pineapple upside-down cake, thank god.
On skin: The pineapple disappears, and what's left is a sweet, slightly floral cake. I don't hate it, but I wish the pineapple stayed longer.
Verdict: 3 pineapple-scented cakes out of 5. I was hoping for more pineapple from this, which just didn't happen, unfortunately.
🍮Kazzate: Tiramisu (Golden vanilla ladyfingers infused with espresso and Marsala wine, layered with sweet mascarpone, finished with a fine dusting of cocoa)
Preliminary notes: Ah, yes, cazzate. The Italian word for bullshit and one of the best names for a scent I've come across. "Oh, you smell nice! What is that?" "Bullshit, but make it Italian." My cultural heritage is happy. Tiramisu is DH's favorite dessert, so I had to take this for a spin and see if he likes it. He's a gourmand fiend too.
DH's preliminary notes: I'll say this much about it. This sounds like something my dad would make. Wait a minute. Is this tiramisu? IT IS TIRAMISU. AHHH!
In bottle: Well. I don't know what I was expecting, but this is a very photorealistic tiramisu scent, and it's delicious. All of the notes sing in perfect harmony together, with only the cocoa being slightly more prominent than anything else.
On skin: Much like in the bottle, everything is perfectly balanced and really does smell like tiramisu. I don't hate the cocoa note, which is a damned miracle. I like chocolate IRL but hate chocolate notes in perfumes.
DH's thoughts: Mmm, that's really comforting. Like cozying up around the fire and eating baked goods at Grandma's house.(I suggested that I should slather myself in this before giving him a hug when he has a bad day, and he enthusiastically agreed.)
Verdict: 5 gigantic plates of tiramisu out of 5. DH loves this, I love this, and I'm looking forward to dousing myself in it the next time he has a bad day in attempt to cheer him up.
🔵Hokum: Blueberry Cobbler (Garden-grown blueberries baked under oatmeal cinnamon streusel)
Preliminary notes: After being sorely disappointed by Grey Cat, I wanted to try something else from NCD with a blueberry note but without the lavender. I only have one other blueberry scent (Arcana's Blueberries Crave Home), and wanted to expand my horizons a bit, even though they're both gourmands.
In bottle: Theeere's that beautiful blueberry note. I also get something distinctly vanillic, which might be part of the oatmeal accord, and of course, cinnamon.
On skin: Oh god, this smells like Ye Olde Village Tavern on me for some reason, and my skin chem hated that scent. Way too much cinnamon, veering on dirty stables. Why.
Verdict: 0 sad skin chemistries out of 5. This was entirely disappointing.
❤️Horsefeathers: Raspberry Arctic Roll (2021) (Vanilla bean ice cream wrapped in a blanket of yellow sponge cake and a layer of vibrant red raspberry jam)
Preliminary notes: I'll start off by saying that raspberry is probably my least favorite berry note and least favorite berry in general, excluding raspberry jam. However, I've been pleasantly surprised by the GBBO scents so far, so I wanted to try this at the very least. I do love good ice cream and cake notes.
In bottle: So funnily enough, the raspberry isn't reading as raspberry at all to me. It's mostly the (very realistic) ice cream and yellow cake with a small bit of berry on the end of the sniff.
On skin: H'oookay, I might have misspoke. The second this hit my skin, a huge cloud of raspberry blossomed off of my arm. It's still primarily ice cream and cake, but the raspberry is definitely more pronounced on the skin. It doesn't smell like jam to me though, maybe closer to liqueur. It's fairly artificial-smelling, which makes me a bit sad. I had the same experience with Preposterous! almost down to a T. NCD's berry notes and I are not friends, apparently.
Verdict: 2.5 bowls of raspberry ripple ice cream out of 5. The cake and ice cream notes are good, but I really do not like the raspberry note in this at all. It's artificial and loud.
🌾Wool Over Your Eyes: Rice Pudding (Fluffy jasmine rice, precious saffron, vanilla-infused sugar, almond milk, nutmeg, cardamom, a scant sprinkle of cinnamon)
Preliminary notes: So I've never actually had rice pudding, but I've had a fair amount of scents that feature it as a note. This sounds delectable. I'm also a sucker for alternative lactonic notes, i.e. coconut milk, almond milk, etc.
In bottle: Oh, god yes. The rice note in this is similar to Silver Fox, which is my favorite cozy NCD scent. It's very creamy and warm.
On skin: This is basically the rice milk portion of Silver Fox turned up to a thousand, and I love it. This is so deliciously creamy, and the spices are perfectly balanced.
Verdict: 5 creamy rice dreams out of 5. I adore this so much.
🍋Sophistry: Sparkling Elderflower Lemonade (Chilled sparkling lemonade infused with elderflower blossoms, thinly sliced cucumber, and a pinch of grated ginger root)
Preliminary notes: I am a huge sucker for a good cucumber note, and cucumber lemon water is my go-to beverage during the summer. This sounds lovely and refreshing. I am curious about how the lemonade note is going to work in this, since the pink lemonade note in Flying South was.. bizarre, to say the least.
In bottle: This is a cucumber and ginger bomb, but not remotely in a bad way. The cucumber note smells like an actual cucumber, green skin and all. I don't get any lemon whatsoever in the bottle, but this is a refreshing herbal scent.
On skin: Still really not getting any lemon from this. It's all cucumber and ginger. Oh, wait. Give it about 5-10 minutes, and the lemonade note peeks its head out a tiny bit. Unfortunately, the whole things ends up smelling pretty soapy. Alas, this is not the lemonade scent for me.
Verdict: 3.5 large cucumber wedges in a small glass of lemonade out of 5. If you like cucumber, you'll probably love this. I was hoping for a 50/50 lemonade to cucumber note split, but instead, it's largely cucumber and ginger. I would have liked this a lot more without the ginger note, I think. I'll try aging it for a few months and see how it is by the time summer starts.
Tags:
- almond,
- banana,
- blueberry,
- bread,
- brown sugar,
- butter,
- cake,
- cardamom,
- cinnamon,
- cocoa,
- coconut,
- cucumber,
- custard,
- elderflower,
- espresso,
- ginger,
- hazelnut,
- honey,
- house: nui cobalt designs,
- ice cream,
- jasmine,
- lemonade,
- mascarpone,
- milk: almond,
- milk: rice,
- nutmeg,
- oatmeal,
- pineapple,
- raspberry,
- rice,
- rum,
- saffron,
- strawberry,
- sugar,
- tea: iced,
- vanilla,
- whipped cream,
- wine
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Date: September 17th, 2022 06:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: September 17th, 2022 04:13 pm (UTC)